The beginning of this year hasn’t got off to the best start, not really the start I would have preferred anyway. I’ve made choices that hurt me and have been really hard, but I know in the long run, will be better for me. I have been insanely overwhelmed by the support I’ve received from everyone since my last post and I couldn’t be more thankful to every single person that read it and reached out to me. I was definitely feeling the love and you’re all beautiful humans. It hasn’t gone unappreciated, I promise.
I’ve made a promise to myself that this year I will look after myself. I will regain my fitness, my health and my happiness but in order to do that I have to evaluate my life and have a serious think about what enhances my life and what hinders my life and stops my happiness from growing. I’ve had to make choices that I never thought I’d have to make. I’ve removed people from my life that I thought would have a huge part of it and would be there for a very long time. Sometimes we have to realise that just because we’d move the world for a person, it doesn’t mean they would do the same for us. It’s highly disappointing when you come to the realisation that not everyone has the same heart as you and you waste it on people who do not deserve it. The only people that deserve a space in your life are the people that fight to be a part of your life, we should not be wasting our time on half-arsed human beings who only decide they want to bother out of convenience or when it suits them. We deserve better, and will get better.
Music is a huge healer for me, my itunes is absolutely jam packed with music for every mood. I have a bad mood playlist, a chilled out playlist, a party playlist, a happy playlist…you get it. Mumford and Sons will always be my go-to band when I’m down, or when I just need time to myself to think. Trust me when I say that Marcus Mumford and his bandmate’s literally saved my soul. Sometimes you just need some time to cut yourself off from the world and escape and I do this with music, and sometimes with a good book. I can spend hours listening to music and just hearing the lyrics. If you ever feel like you’ve had a shitty day and just need to take an hour to chill out, put your headphones on and listen to your favourite songs- trust me it helps.
This year is the year of self-care. If it does not make me happy, does not make me thrive in anyway, there is no space for it in my life. I’ve started running again which has already made me feel so much better, I’m making a point of drinking more water (even if it does make me want to pee ALL OF THE TIME) and I’m learning to take each day as it comes. Healthy eating is a must, well, sometimes. We all love a chinese takeaway and to be perfectly honest I don’t think I could live without crispy beef being a ten minute walk from my house when I need it, but you get the idea. Healthy eating and a bit of naughtiness within reason.
We must always keep in mind that if we choose to change ourselves, it must be for the right reasons. Not because someone else looks good in a pretty dress and not because you don’t fit the standards of another person, but for yourself. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent- totally stole that from The Princess Diaries, but its 100% true. You should only make changes in your life if it is to make yourself happy, not everyone else. If you live to other peoples expectations and standards then you’re not you, you are the version of you that they want you to be. If a person does not accept you for who you are then you really should be telling them to do a running jump out of your life because they are not the kind of people that will help you grow.
This is the point I’m trying to make. The year of you. The year of self-love. Actually it shouldn’t even just be a year, make it your life. Why should you make a short term change when it makes you a happier and better person? If I find that the choices I make have helped me heal and helped me thrive then they will be made permanent changes. We are too hard on ourselves when we are made to believe that we don’t fit the standard or expectation of another person, we are made to feel inferior and insignificant. NO ONE IS INSIGNIFICANT. Just because one person feels you aren’t up to their standards it doesn’t mean you aren’t the best person you can be, if a person makes you feel like this then they are clearly a shitty person. You shouldn’t have to meet anyone’s expectations or anyone’s standards, we are who we are and if someone doesn’t like it then they are not worthy of a space in our lives. There is no need for people to feel unappreciated. If we are all truly happy with our own lives we have no need to pick holes at others.
That is my goal- to be truly happy with life. Don’t question what the world brings and just go with it.
Let’s see how this one pans out!